London to Hertford fare shoots up

‘A single to Hertford North please,’ I said to the man at Euston (19 miles from Hertford). ‘That’s H.E.R.T.F.O.R.D.’

I always say that as no-one can spell anymore.

‘No, there isn’t a Hertford North,’ he informed me.

I decided to humour him. ‘Ah. Maybe the ticket says Hertford Stations?’

‘Yes,’ he replied. ‘That’s £123.50.’

‘But it’s just a few miles away and it was only £17 yesterday.’

‘No. It’s definitely £123.50. It must have gone up.’

Suddenly I twigged.

‘How are you spelling it?’

‘H.A.R.T.F.O.R.D.’

‘But it has an E. I said it had an E.’

‘No. That’s HURTford.’

‘No. I live there. It’s pronounced HARTford but spelt HERTford.’

‘OK. That’s £17.’

‘Sorry I confused you.’ (Yes, I actually said that but I am English).

‘That’s OK.’

hartford cheshire

The wrong Hertford – I mean Hartford. In Cheshire. In the north. A long way from London.