As you no doubt know, I’m a garden snob. I openly vandalise variegated ivy after dark. I’d rather poison myself with Roundup than be seen in the presence of a plastic pot. And, as for the tasteless suburban wretches who sprinkle nasty white pebbles on weed-resistant membrane, let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell, for wickednesse is within their borders.
I thought I’d seen it all until this week, when I walked past a so-called ‘town house’ and spotted wilted brown cordylines cohabiting (in plastic terracotta pots) with lime-green conifers. It was so brutally Non-U, it would have literally killed Nancy Mitford on the spot.
Watch this space. I have a goodly supply of Domestos and weedkiller at Peacock Towers and am not averse to strolling abroad in the small hours.