Where I live

Genius Lionel Richie wordplay

Spotted in Chapel Park, Newcastle. Book him now for the sheer audacity.


Worst Geordie accent ever?

Here’s what happens when you cast an LA actor to play a Geordie – possibly the worst Geordie accent ever

Boll and I are back

Eee. Are yiz alreet pets? Bolly and I are back. We now live in a bosky dell near Newcastle, with Highland Cows at the end of the road. Since we last Peacockshocked, Boll celebrated her 16th birthday (80 in human…

The ‘New’ Bridge

new tyne bridge 1925

Mum referred to the ‘new bridge’ in Newcastle the other day and I assumed she meant the Millennium Bridge (2001). But no – she meant the Tyne Bridge (1928).

Newcastle itself isn’t exactly new, as the ‘new castle’ in question dates from 1080. As for other news, they’re all old news …

New College Oxford – 1379

New York – 1664

New Town Edinburgh – 1820

New Mexico – 1912

UK New Towns – 1949

New Media – 1960 (cited in the OED)

Neologism – um, 1772

7272 2727

Here’s an interesting thing. As the Samaritans hit 60, I’ve recalled an odd family story. The Samaritans’ Newcastle number apparently used to be 7272. Meanwhile, my grandparents’ number was 2727. So they often ended up answering calls from people who were feeling suicidal.

The Newcastle number is still (0191 232) 7272 by the way. The national number is 08457 90 90 90.

Geordie Grammar

As you no doubt know, I’m a big fan of Geordie grammar and I’ve went to great lengths to bring yous examples of it over the years. So I was delighted when Dad told me about a Geordie manager he used to work with. One day, Dad overheard him pontificating about his status on the phone, producing the following classic phrase –

Usses what’s heads of departments

You just couldn’t make it up like.


I was in Newcastle recently and was shocked to overhear several young Geordies saying ‘alright’ or ‘all right’ – ie. speaking proper English.
But in Geordie, it’s most certainly pronounced ‘alreet’ (or ‘arlreet’ if you wish).
It’s odd. I’m sure alreet was still in use a few years ago, but it now seems to have gone the way of ganzie, cuddy and hinny.
There is hope though. It could possibly be on the verge of a comeback, thanks to, of all people, those canny lads One Direction
Eeee pet. Who’d have thought?


Northumbrian sheeps doing their thing near the car
Boll and I have just returned from a month up north with Mum and Dad. We went on several jaunts into wild and woolly Northumberland with friends Audrey and Graeme and discovered all manner of peculiar things, including a cactus farm in the middle of nowhere. Here are a few of the highlights –

Beaufront Castle

Beaufront is a 19th century ‘domestic castellated’ Gothic Revival manor house designed by John Dobson.


Craster’s the world kipper capital (oak-smoked by Robson and Sons). We had some delicious kipper fish cakes at the Shoreline Cafe where they have a wood-burning stove and lots of goodies. The Jolly Fisherman also looks good. Craster village has some pretty cottages with gardens sloping down to the harbour.