Thanks to Sasha for observing that Peacockshock suffers from a sad lack of monotremes. To redress the balance, here, for a limited run, is a new feature: the Monotreme of the Week. This week’s monotreme is an echidna. Monotremes are, by the way, mammals which lay eggs. Following the huge response to the January bandicoot, there’ll be another Marsupial of the Month on February 1st. If you’d like to request a marsupial, just email Peacockshock via the contacts page.
When icicles hang by the wall,
And Dick the shepherd blows his nail,
And Tom bears logs into the hall,
And milk comes frozen home in pail,
When blood is nipp
I felt like hibernating all day today. Tonight, I can’t even be asked to go to the gym, or even to Tescos. And now I know why. January 24th is officially the most depressing day of the year. That’s according to the oddly-named Cliff Arnalls of Cardiff University. His formula reads: 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA – where W is weather, D is debt – minus the money (d) due on January’s pay day, and T is the time since Christmas. Thank you Cliff. I bet you’re a laugh at parties.
I Don’t Like Monday 24th January.
According to my source (Ariel magazine), the BBC Online search engine received some very odd queries last year, including:
What is a dog?
What are the contemporary issue in nurses?
What is the number four in the number 400532308090?
How can I fold a serviette like an elf’s boot?
What’s so funny about that? Surely it’s normal to ask what a dog is. And to make napkins into the shapes of elves. It certainly is in Hertfordshire.
According to today’s Sun:
“A sex bomb to make enemy soldiers turn gay and romp with each other was planned by US Government scientists.
Experts plotted the bizarre chemical weapon as an alternative to deadly nuclear devices, newly declassified documents reveal.
They hoped the tactic, proposed in 1994 when Bill Clinton was President, would distract the enemy from military duties so their troops could attack.”
They obviously tested it on Brighton, Soho, Manchester and large swathes of Westminster, the Media and the Priesthood. That goes without saying.
Perhaps they ought to try it out on the Mid West and, say, Tunbridge Wells. That would be fun.
But would the bomb actually make soldiers less effective in combat?
Homosexuality was positively encouraged in the armies of the ancient world, as it was thought to engender fierce loyalty. Remember Achilles and Patroclus? Alexander and Hephaestion?
Some sites I’ve recently stumbled on and enjoyed
hardcore morris dancing with a chinchilla
themanwhofellasleep.com Wild, deranged, full of very clever stuff
mrandmrswheatley.co.uk Ludicrous, very funny animation with sound (beware occasional adult language, if you’re offended by such things)
pepysdiary.com Pepys’ Diary, day by day, with short, clear explanatory notes
derelictlondon.com Photos of derelict London
montage-a-google Just type in a key word and this site will make you a montage of related photos that came up on Google
frankieroberto.com Excellent blog of UCL linguistics student Frankie Roberto
morrmusic.com I love the preposterous home page with squirrels and odd objects
jonny b’s secret diary Witty blog diary by Jonny who lives in rural Norfolk
pinoco A Bollinger lookalike in Japan
destiny’s kitten Kittens sing in a pub carpark
kitten combo Kittens and an understated chinchilla play cool jazz on a tropical beach
I recently saw this advert in a magazine. It might have been Mens Health. Can’t quite recall. And it’s been ruffling me ever since. Why are there just 44 cockerels left? Is there a rush on cockerels that I’m not aware of? If so, why? Or has the farmyard hen, which has a haughty look about it, done away with some of them? Why is the kitten being submissive to the thrush? What are the identical hedgehog twins up to? Why does the bear collect ceramics? And why is the terrier wearing a saddle and totally ignoring the Australian fairy wren?