Monthly Archives: June 2006

Moose RIP

Boll and I were sad to learn of the death of Moose who played Eddie in Frasier. We were big fans.

World Cup – England 1 Ecuador 0

What an excellent set-piece goal from Beckham. He ought to be made an honorary guinea pig. Come to think of it, he does sound like one. I watched the game alone, as none of my friends like football.

World Cup Fever

Bollinger, getting uncontrollably excited about the World Cup

Message For Extreme Coffee Drinkers Like Me…

Photos from a real experiment –

Spider’s web after it was given LSD

Spider’s web after it was given caffeine

Dr Who’s New Assistant – Update

Thanks for the suggestions, which have included –
Sue from Sooty and Sweep
Fiona Bruce
Christine Hamilton
Anne Widdecombe
Dana International
Margaret Beckett
Dame Maggie Smith
AS Byatt
Moira Stuart
Jenni Murray
Cherie Blair

Health Update

I went to Harefield yesterday for a heart check-up and the consultant declared my heart was ‘perfect’. I was very pleased, and celebrated by visiting my friend’s horse Ding and sitting on him – the first time I’ve sat on a horse for two years.

Off The Air

I’m not presenting on the radio at the moment and people keep asking me why. Well, at the risk of sounding like Alan Partridge, I’m pursuing other projects for a while, such as setting up my own media consultancy and writing. I will be doing more programmes, but probably not till 2007.


I’m not easily shocked, but I have been ruffled by this year’s Big Brother – ruffled by the fact that none of them ever talk about anything. I find this really disturbing. The other day, one of them actually said: ‘Let’s talk about a topic’ as if talking about ideas was a school project. Needless to say, they couldn’t think of a ‘topic’ to discuss. I’m not talking about high-brow intellectual discussions – just the odd opinion or thought or cultural snippet. Their thinking just seems so impoverished, which I find sad and sadly typical.
Perhaps I’m just being snobbish (Arabella Weir argued in yesterday’s Guardian that watching BB is all about defining yourself within the class system) But I suspect not. I just feel sorry for them. They seem to be missing out on so much pleasure by devoting the whole day to bitching.
That’s when you can understand them in between the f***s. Channel 4 now subtitles a large part of the dialogue as they mumble and slur so much – espescially Mikey, who’s a graduate. Yes. A graduate.
(The northerners get most of the subtitling down here – I wonder whether they subtitle the southerners up north?)
It might all be in the editing, but it does appear that most of them can’t think and can’t speak, and do very little apart from bitch and go on about sex.
And I watch them nearly every night.

Dr Who’s New Assistant

Here are my nominations for a new assistant:
Nadia from Big Brother
Nikki from Big Brother 2006
Jo Brand
Clarissa Dixon Wright
Mavis from Coronation Street
Karen from ‘Will and Grace’
Kim and Aggie from ‘How Clean Is Your House?’ (they could clean planets, polish daleks etc)
Please send me our suggestions and I’ll pass them on to the BBC.

Health Update

I’m now doing a daily physiotherapy exercise to stop the dizziness. This involves standing for a few minutes a day with one foot directly in front of the other, which is easy for most people but makes me wobble like a weeble. This should bombard the braincells and nerve endings in the vestibular part of my brain which has been on strike for a year. And I’ll soon be attending a weekly class for dizzy persons.
As for my heart, I’m off to Harefield today for a routine check-up. By the way – ‘Transplanting Memories’ (Channel 4, Monday 26 June, 10pm) looks rather interesting. It’s about heart transplant patients who appear to have inherited memories and tastes from their donors. Presumably this doesn’t apply if your donor was a pig.