Monthly Archives: January 2007

Godot Arrives

The washing machine installer, who looked like David Beckham in a bobble-hat, turned up at 10. But he couldn’t fit it. ‘Sorry mate,’ he said (mate? mate? Hello?) ‘You haven’t got the right spiggot and your hose isn’t long enough.’…

Waiting for Godot

I’ve been up since the crack of dawn because my new washing machine is due to arrive between 7 and 11 this morning. That means, of course, that it will arrive at three seconds to 11, if indeed it arrives…

Why Do Cats Stick Their Tongues Out?

A kitten sticking its tongue out Bollinger was grooming herself this morning. Then she stopped. But she left her tongue sticking out. Just the tip. Why? I suspect she’d just forgotten it was out. But one theory is that it’s…

Endless Senseless Interactive Book

The Endless Senseless Interactive Book aims to become the longest webpage ever. The idea is that you go to the page and just write anything you want to, without thinking about it too much. It’s essentially a collective piece of…

Gillian the Impaler

Dr Gillian McKeith I’m watching her on TV as I write. She’s currently showing her sobbing victim a choc-ice in the shape of a coffin. She’s the undead. She looks like a celery stick gone wrong. She ought to be…

This Cat May Damage Your Health

Apparently, dog owners are healthier than cat owners, because they walk more and because dogs are more easy-going. I’ve always had cats, but I’m neither a cat person nor a dog person. I like both. And I think they’re much…

Hertford on the Map

Hertford’s on the map. Finally. After years of explaining to people where it is (‘Hertford – a nice old town 20 miles north of London … no … it’s not Hatfield or Harlow … yes … it’s in Hertfordshire…’) BBC…