Monthly Archives: June 2007


the ironing cupboard

Picnic

I spent this afternoon on a jetty near the house, having a very pleasant picnic with Frank and Henrietta. I wore my preposterous straw hat from Thailand and we fed a passing swan and some cute and fluffy cygnets.


me, looking like a deranged hillbilly

Loofah Lurks in Hertford Porch


mystery loofah
I was at the gym yesterday and was greatly taken aback by a blue fluffy object in the showers which I referred to as a ‘granny’s loofah’. Had a granny accidentally strayed into the men’s locker room? Had one of the free-weights lads been secretly using it to polish his pecs (or indeed burnish his buns)?
Anyway – I showed it to my friend James, who was greatly amused. And then I thought nothing more of it.
Until this morning.
There I was, innocently letting Bolly out for her constitutional, when I saw it. Looming menacingly on the doormat. A blue granny’s loofah. Was the owner stalking me? Was this a sign?
At first I thought it was the gym loofah itself. But then I realised it was newly-purchased and had a mysterious note attached. ‘Saw this and thought of you’.
Boll and I are now analysing the CCTV footage. James is currently a suspect but has not been charged. The loofah, which is in fact a ‘polishing sponge’, is now residing in the bathroom where it actually adds a rather nice splash of colour.