Monthly Archives: July 2007

Boll’s Day

Bollinger spent today planting some cornflowers and French lavender, then impersonating a tiger in the bushes, then having a nice rest.

Oscar – Cat of Doom

Oscar Bollinger tells me she’s thankfully not related to Oscar the cat despite the superficial resemblance.

BT – Blithering Twits

As I write, I’m on hold to BT again, listening to the jolly BT mantra: ‘Thank you for holding. We are very busy at the moment and apologise for the delay’. I hope the voiceover thesp who recorded this gets…

Guerilla Grammaticians

A nice, well-meant sign in a pub window on the Ware Road informs passers by that it’s ‘close for refarbish’. How sad that local ruffians have chosen to vandalise it with their troglodytic marker pens, changing it to ‘ClosED for…

Risky Restaurant Ruse Rewarded

‘Have you booked?’ asked the maître d’ at Lussman’s last night. ‘No,’ I replied. ‘But we are very important.’ Without further ado, we were whisked to the best table in the restaurant and treated like VIPs for the rest of…

Dazed, Fazed, Glazed

My bewildering quest for new double-glazing continues. Every day this week, I’ve had salespersons round, bringing demonstration windows with them. Today’s salesman looked like Jim Bowen from Bullseye and turned up without his window. “I’m an old man,” he panted.…