According to a somewhat alarmist TV report about recycling this week, the UK is ‘running out of holes’.
Surely not. There’s an endless supply of them. You just dig them. I guess it could get problematic if you dug a hole, filled it in, and then dug another one in the same location. Would the second hole somehow cancel out the first?
The Telegraph has become weirdly obsessed by holes of late. Recent headlines include –
There’s a God-shaped hole in Westminster (What exactly does a God-shaped hole look like?)
Labour lands Britain in a £1 trillion hole (How can an entire country land in a hole? Did the hole itself cost £1 trillion?)
The Beatles seemed to have a thing about holes as well, transforming four thousand holes in Blackburn Lancashire into overnight celebrities in 1967. (Though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all. Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.) Perhaps Blackburn could profit from the hole shortage.
I look forward to a national boom in the hole trade.