Monthly Archives: June 2009

Pin-Up of the Week

This week’s pin-up is a fennec fox. Fennec foxes have big ears to dissipate the desert heat and to hear small creatures, such as locusts, walk on the sand.

Friend’s Website – Lea

Lea is a brilliant naive artist and her website features vibrant, imaginative, funny and uplifting paintings of cats, badgers, rabbits, crows, humans and angels.

As she puts it, ‘naive art is characterised by a certain innocence, a rich colourful palette and idiosyncratic use of scale – often, but not exclusively, the artist is untutored and their work benefits from lack of classical training.’ And so naive art offers a ‘unique prescription for happiness.’

The site includes some great new paintings of angels, with curious titles such as ‘The angel of the tulips – closely watched by a ginger cat’

Lea has recently exhibited in London and St Ives and will be appearing at the Festival International d’Art Naïf at Verneuil-sur-Arvres in 2010.

You can buy her wondrous paintings, bags, cards, post-its and so on via the site. I personally have an owl and pussycat bag, in which I keep my runcible spoons.

Posted by Ian at June 28, 2009 07:20 AM


A Bifidus is a Bifidus is a Bifidus…

…to quote Gertrude Stein, sort of.
I’m seething.
I got all excited recently when the Danone yoghurt ads started going on about Bifidus Actiregularis. I was thrilled at the arrival of a new friendly bacterium. It seemed like a positively jolly bacterium too, with a purposeful and uplifting name.
But then I looked it up. And I discovered that it’s exactly the same as Bifidus Digestivum. Bifidus Digestivum has basically just nipped out to the microbe deed-poll office and changed its surname.
It made me apoplectic to then discover that both Bifidus Digestivum and Bifidus Actiregularis are made-up brand names for Bifidobacterium Animalis.
I for one will make a point of openly calling it Bifidobacterium Animalis from now on, as its unique hexose metabolism passes through my phosphoketolase pathway.

Six Degrees

I once spent a day with Michael Jackson‘s sister LaToya in 1988. We were at an American airbase in Suffolk, with Bob Hope. Yes – Bob Hope. That means I’m one degree of separation from Michael (and Bing Crosby, come to think of it).

Sign of the Times

I noticed this interestingly amended sign in an important office in a well-known broadcasting organisation today.

Pin-Up of the Week

This week’s pin-up is a pleasing otter.

Green Shoots

An encouraging harbinger for the economy. My Norwegian Spruce has suddenly developed green shoots.


I just read an article about Robert Pattinson from the vampire film Twilight. And it had to happen – the newspapers have started calling him RPaz. Susan Boyle, the Hairy Angel, has now mysteriously metamorphosed into SuBo. Stray into the limelight nowadays and it’s difficult to survive with all your syllables intact.
This is, of course, so lazy journos can fit them into headlines. They’ve been using abbreviated nicknames for decades – JFK, JR, Posh, Becks, Madge and so on. But the random selection of syllables in a HipHop styly is pretty new.
The US tabloids now call President Obama OBams, Bams or Bam (as in ‘Hil Slams Bam’). And US sports stars get it too. ARod (Alex Rodrigues) is probably the most well-known.
But I’m not convinced the two-syllable treatment works on everyone. If Dame Barbara were alive today, would we be calling her BCarts? Or DBabs?
What would I be, I wonder? IPeacs I suppose. Bollinger would be BPeacs. And Peacockshock – PShok.
I actually prefer old-skool rap names, like Grandmaster Flash, Queen Latifah and so on and I was amused to find a Rap Name Generator
My name came out as Gunshot Ian P Sheets
Bolly was BB Gangsta
When I opted for a female rap name for myself, I came out as Phat IP Chilli Cherry which I’ll be calling myself from now on.
Here are a few more –
Gordon Brown – MC Golden Gordy B (please don’t start using it Gord)
Hazel Blears – Diva HH Ritz (spookily accurate)
Alan Sugar – Sir Alan (weird – I didn’t put the sir in … it just came up with it)
Osama bin Laden – Bad Silver Osama B – aka Justice Smirk
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad – DJ M – aka Busta Assassin
Ann Widdecombe – Gangsta Annie A Cookies
and finally…
Camilla Parker Bowles – Dirty CP Humps

Gangsta Annie A Cookies

Pin-Up of the Week

This week’s pin-up is a small white rabbit.

Paws for Thought

Bolly likes sitting next to me on the sofa when I’m reading and often falls asleep under the glare of the lamp. Her solution is … to cover her eyes with her paws. This is exceedingly cute as you can see, and also very clever.

Little Bollsy Divey

Boll and I gave the garden ivy its annual haircut today. It now looks like an old lady with a stiff perm.