Teenager 1 – I’ve – like – run out of adjectives?
Teenager 2 – Awesome!
When I was a lad, everything was mega. Sometimes it was cosmic. I was too old by the time it turned wicked. It was cool for a while (briefly fly if you were very trendy). Now, it’s awesome. Awesome’s particularly awesome if you’re under 20 and slightly posh, as I discovered this morning while eavesdropping on some irritating Hertford teenagers in a caf
I don’t normally do decorating tips. But here goes.
Basically, my kitchen walls were starting to look like Jackson Pollock had been eating in there.
I can’t help it. I always end up with more food on the wall than in my mouth.
So I came up with a fiendishly clever solution. I decided to buy some paint which was exactly the same colour as my stains. In the end, I opted for olive green. It’s stain-resistant and quick-drying and I spent this morning applying two coats.
The kitchen’s now worryingly dark and resembles a distressed avocado, but at least it’s stain-free and I’m a happy bunny.
There are lots of dentists in Hertford.
We even have celebrity ones. Victoria Beckham allegedly frequents The Perfect Smile near Peacock Towers. This spa-style practice has also starred on TV’s Extreme Makeover.
And Hudsons on Bull Plain is renowned throughout the globe for its seasonal window displays of fluffy toys.
That’s all well and good. But I draw the line at dental jollity and I’ve been seriously irked in recent weeks by various freakish dental marketing ploys.
The first was a ‘smile makeover’, offered on the Ware Road, of all places. Good grief. What do they do? Tickle you?
Then I saw a sign today saying ‘Nervous Patients Welcome’ and boasting ‘drill-free’ and ‘injection-free’ dentistry.
This is heresy. Going to the dentists ought to be traumatic. It’s a rite of passage.
No pain, no tooth fairy.
I thought I’d seen it all – until tonight, when I popped into the kitchen to make a cuppa. And there was Bollinger, brazenly eating … a chip. Yes … a chip. Quite a large one too. I’d given her a bit of haddock earlier, so I assume she’d decided a chip would go nicely with it. I think she might be turning human. Must keep an eye on the ketchup.
If you’re one of those people who, like me, have a daily to-do list, then try teuxdeux
It’s a really neat site, where you can keep your daily to-do lists. You put a red line through things you’ve done. Things you haven’t done are automatically shunted on to the next day at midnight.
And there’s even a some day section for items that are less urgent.
Put it on your to-do list now.
Need a gardener in Hertfordshire and surrounds? I’d thoroughly recommend Paul at outinthegarden
He’s very creative, efficient and friendly and definitely knows his stuff. Here are some pix of his gardens in the Hertford area –