Monthly Archives: March 2010

Clearly Over 25

I bought a bottle of wine tonight and used the self-service checkout. It said ‘approval needed’, so I summoned the yoof hovering nearby. He logged on. Up popped a big red message saying CUSTOMER IS CLEARLY OVER 25 He pressed…

Newcastle Vampire Rabbit – Update

Thank you to Andy Curtis for contacting me about the infamous vampire rabbit of Newcastle (above the churchyard doorway of the Cathedral Buildings, dating from 1901). His theory is that it’s a hare, placed there by the architect William H…

Hertford Corn Exchange – Missing Statue

I was looking at an old postcard of Fore Street in Hertford today and suddenly noticed a statue on top of the Corn Exchange. Where did it disappear to? Why was it removed? And who does it represent? My guess…

Hertford Corn Exchange now

Neighbourhood Clich

a cat rollercoaster A warning to the next person to refer, on radio or television, to being on an emotional rollercoaster – I will personally take them up to the top of an actual rollercoaster and fling them off.

The Pink Princess of Hertford

You see some odd things in Hertford Tescos car park. But this one is up there. Even the windscreen wipers are pink. Who is the pink princess? Why is she (or he?) so obsessed with pink? What does she (or…

Overheard This Weekend

Old Man 1 – How are you? Old Man 2 – Not so terrible. You? Old Man 1 – Well, I suppose I’m still here.

Cultured Chorizos

Spar in Playa del Ingles Gran Canaria There I was, innocently purchasing a few slices of jamón asado on holiday, when I spotted a Flemish painting lurking behind the chorizos. It was no less than Air, from The Four Elements…


Boll and I spent the Vernal Equinox in the garden. I planted some new lavenders and sprayed Nana the olive tree with copper sulphate, thanks to her unfortunate outbreak of peacock spot. Nana models her new copper sulphate look

Boll carries out an inspection