RATS is my new campaign. It stands for Remove Absurdity from Television Scripts.
My latest pet hate is ‘ahead’, as in –
Ahead … how a duck in Norfolk transformed a pensioner’s life.
Ahead? Does anyone actually say ‘ahead’ in real life?
Here’s your porridge. Ahead … toast and marmalade.
As if ‘ahead’ doesn’t chafe my sensibilities enough, it’s now evolved into ‘also ahead’.
‘Also ahead’ makes sense, I suppose, if it’s preceded by something. But they just use it, willy-nilly, at any old random point – including the top of the programme –
Hello and welcome. Also ahead, are peewits making a comeback? And have you ever wondered why Belgian Buns have a glacé cherry in the middle?
Why the ‘also’?